Time to get back to the basics – I was looking for God

 

When we returned from New York,  we had so much painful stress having to decide about what the results meant, to us our family.  I had to decide do I move forward or just curl up in the space between knowledge and knowledge and stay there. I like to hide their sometimes. I am getting closer to that spot as I travel down this path, if we can call traveling down this path one of healing.  I am struggling yet surviving each day.  I get up, that is a accomplishment! We my family and I are on the constant effort of searching for my prime, my fullness. Thank you!

I loved being witty. It is something that could be used to express what I am and who I am. Or it used to be. That euphemism has dwindled as, progressions of the neurological question mark  in my life has developed, more aptly grown!  I am seeking further treatment for the progression and the source.  Such as applying to a neurological study at John Hopkins.  We are on the new path as I am not a surgical candidate. I do not have Chiari and my Syringomyelia is not of a surgical nature.

The Dr. in New York after releasing the “NOT FIXABLE HERE”,   he used the terms transverse myelitis ( is a neurological disorder caused by aninflammatory process of the grey and white matter of the spinal cord, and can cause axonal demyelination.) he also used the terms:  a variant of (Variant meaning type?) Multiple Sclerosis (multiple sclerosis  (MS), chronic, slowly progressive autoimmune disease in which the body’s immune system attacks the protective myelin sheaths that surround the nerve cells of the brain and spinal cord (a process called demyelination), resulting in damaged areas that are unable to transmit nerve impulses.The disease also gradually damages the nerves themselves.There are elevated numbers of lymphocytes in the cerebral spinal fluid and of T cells in the blood (see immunity).

The onset of MS is usually at age 20 to 40 years, and its many symptoms affect almost every system of the body. There may be visual difficulties, emotional disturbances, speech disorders,convulsions, paralysis or numbness of various regions of the body, bladder disturbances, and muscular weakness. The course of the disease varies greatly from person to person. In some patients, the symptoms remit and return, sometimes at frequent intervals and sometimes after several years. In others the disease progresses steadily.)

Neither of which make me want to back cookies, do they make you so inclined? I am still non curable and undeclared as of what it is that has all these symptoms and walks like a duck, I being the duck.

So for the time being  I decided the best avenue before becoming so depressed I stopped liking chocolate. It is to find God around me! YEAH!, to that notion, I have found already – He has followed me very closely the last couple days:Look at the photos and the things that just should not be their. If you have an idea…  please share!! Enjoy, I have:) In Hard times she had learned three things:

  1. She was stronger than she ever imagined
  2. Jesus was closer than she ever realized
  3. And she was loved more than she ever knew!

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So I find that when God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit places things for you to fathom, think about and question  – is that really you.  In those moments we are having an intimate conversation with our maker.

So when Peter saw it, he responded to the people: Men of Israel, why do you marvel at this? Or why look so intently at us,as though by our own power or godliness we hade made this man walk?  Acts: 3:12 NKLV

Tell hin this is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Here is the man whose name is the Branch, and he will branch out from this place and build the temple of the LORD. Zechariah 6:12

The Branch is one of the most amazing ideas in the bible – I am a branch and can reach as many people as I reach for!!

In the search for God and realizing he is with you while you put on your socks,  he is nudging me hard, I stop.

I have not been listening.

I have sinned  – and will again, for I am human and blind to the glory offered.

I am working on the nudges – I have a feeling this is a start.  “To those who know the stupid people in Sponge Bob Square Pants” – Thank you for Nudging to get off the floor! – Thank you!

I found one more scripture that feels like me please enjoy – This is excerpts from Psalm 31 –  I put myself in your hands knowing you will save me, Lord of Truth….. I dance for joy at your constant love.  You saw me suffer, you know my pain.  You let no enemy cage me, but set my feet on open ground.  Pity me Lord, I hurt all over; my eyes are swollen. My heart and body ache. Grief consumes my life, sighs fill my days; guilt saps my strength…… I said to quickly, “God has cut me off!” But you heard my cry when I prayed for help. Love the Lord, all faithful people, the Lord your guardian, who fully repays the proud. Be Strong, Be Brave, all who wait for God.   (Wow – we are Blessed beyond measure)  In the Contemporary English Version The Holy Bible PSALM 31

So I, will continue to try to be strong, brace myself wait for God.  He knows my pain, my desire to not get up. This is like admitting your worst sin – I have no wish to get up, yet I try every day, lest the lord forsake me. Rather I give up on my family.  I have lost days lately – But out of Love comes finding, understanding.  I try!

Many Blessings to be with each of you may you learn the love of passing grace on. It passed us eight times during our trip too & from – God and His wonderful creations are amazing, be amazing!

Jenn

English: Tracts of the spinal cord.
English: Tracts of the spinal cord. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

$200.00 Small Contest 5-Hour ENERGY Friend’s Mission

Wouldn’t it be great to take a short survey and be $200.00 better off – here is a chance.  I use a group called Smiley360 and did a 5 hour energy Drink Campaign. I received a free sample of 5 Hour energy dring with as a courtesy when I did this contest  This is an additional opportunity to get the word out and perhaps win some money – enjoy! The link is below: – Jenn Enter 4 a chance to win a $200 gift card from Smiley360 by taking this short survey http://smiley360.com/959848.cf via 5-Hour ENERGY Friend’s Mission.

 

God is calling… Do you Hear?

Rainbows are a very special gift God has given everyone.  To me they tell me “You ‘re safe, I am with you!” I trust in that every-time I see the wonderous display in the sky.   A friend and I, would call each other wherever we were to say “Hey, I see a Rainbow, Do you see it too?” A little bit of God Joy shared with so many.  Even if the other person could not see the rainbow the Joy was still felt in the reason for the call. She is to far away to share the same rainbows now, I still think of calling sometimes I do!  Our brain teaches us to do or remember moments or actions long after they have gone or stopped, still reminding us of the feeling or moment years past.

Recently, I Have had a hiccup with my walk with God, I needed a reboot a reason to keep trudging forward in this valley as a loving disciple. I wouldn’t want it an other way. I’m walking with God, or being carried by God, there was no room for Why.  It is not for me to question, rather just jump in. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. for I a gentle a humble in heat, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light” Matthew 11:29-30. For following God, being a disciple as I have been and searched for again was not a suit to wear but father a lifestyle that can change a person’s heart.

Today He was heavy on my heart, calling.  I was not listening, instead paying more attention to the things happening to my body I could not explain. Then it happened~ I was typing a review, there on my left hand is a rainbow as dark as night and as deep as the dead sea.  The most beautiful image if redemption and of promise’s that I had ever seen! All this sitting on my hand from a dangling piece of glass in the other room.  “Wow – Okay God you are shouting now” I really felt WOW all this time I have been struggling, He has been carrying me. Waiting for me to realize even if I fall He will be their not only to lift me up, to guide me through unknown territory.

Then, I was reminded God is not only merciful but gracious.  He didn’t want to just tell me it’s going to be okay. He wanted my family to know mommy was going to be okay too. We had just sat for dinner when a rainbow started ascending in our back yard!  The picture does not do it justice, but wow was it was loud in the house!  The little one was shouting, “Mommy, Mommy look at the rainbow, and the older girl was n her chair pointing and looking in amazement talking about God! We watched it grow quietly for quite a while, taking a few photos in-between the precious moment with my little ones. Suddenly my little man said “Mommy God Loves Us!”  Yes, why Yes he does!!

God likes everyone to know He is their for them regardless of circumstance and current tribulations. Nothing is to Big or Wide for Him to work through. We are just crystalline star-dust in the hands of our Creator, what a wake up call! Needless to say I woke from my questioning slumber to a state passion, Love I was alive in Him again! The Rainbow turned to two rainbows then just as fast it left, not before the calling was heard loud and clear to all in the home.

After my husband got home we talked and shared.  As He turned on the television again, Their it was as bright as day another rainbow on the television! It was part of a show or commercial without rhyme or reason their it was. God had taken my house today, made it a place to feel Joy, share Love and experience the falling if returning to a place of surrender, of awakening’s for us all.  I found I was not the only one stuck, Thank you God for today, I will never forget it   I stopped the television and shared the instances of God in my life today, it was good to talk about Him with my spouse to say “He is in my life” with a small burst of color three times – I thank the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit for letting me know we need not go alone, rather we shall follow wherever God leads.

Isaiah 65:24-25 

Before they call I will answer; 
while they are still speaking I will hear.
25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
    and the lion will eat straw like the ox, 
    and dust will be the serpent’s food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
    on all my holy mountain,” 
says the Lord.

Today,  I am a disciple, a child of God. Me, my family will walk through this valley holding Hope for He is with us carrying us when we cannot stand.

Love is a mighty thing, I feel humbled to have experienced the call of Jesus in my time of need without seeking an answer.

Blessings~Jenn

Dinner

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Out with at the end of the beet juice mix in with the all green. veggie mix. It does have the two Wagreen apples 🙂 join the reboot it makes you feel alive, I love it. I notice a major difference when I stick with drinking just the veggi\fruit, verses mixing it with other food. Fruit and veggi fine other food not so much. This will fill you up and clean you out, so don’t forget to intake as much water as possible. Want a recipe just let me know, I have what I think are some great ones. Also check out so: reboot your system on the web, great video and great system. Have a good night ~Jenn

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Too Cool Stamping – Its time to make it happen – want to join?

Too Cool Stamping.   

http://zuza-matuza.blogspot.com/2011/03/39.html

http://pinterest.com/megmicter/craft-ideas/

It is one of those days where you have to check out the link above – Do something amazing and enjoy life one minute at a time.

I have gotten well depressed that I am not scrap-booking, card making, little water bottle notes, or fun bookmarks.  My 3D word started before it ended, and I have one Cricut cartridge…  Doesnt get me very far does it?

So I am complaining – no not really I am saying  – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  So if that is true  – I believe somehow the word will get out – people will send me cards already made with instructions on how to make them.  I can work hard with my right arm and master or at least feel good about doing it.

Perhaps someone is done scrap-booking and doesn’t need their Cricut cartridges, sends them my way. I can make it work, it might be a lot of trial and error, but when have I given up?

Maybe nothing will show up at my door and I will have to thank God either way for whatever lesson he is intending on teaching me.

I know there are crafts, stamps, something called Stinx? All I know is I want to thank the people who helped me get where I am 10 1/2 months later and yet I want to write with my left hand and keep the letters unique – I want to do the God scrap-book, the one that shows he has been here the whole time. I still have never started – I don’t have the supplies & the worship to get their.

If you have a nudge in your heart to be involved in some way, worship to reading the bible with me.  comment on this and I will send you my address.  I like to be humble but today I want to say, If you’re not using it, let me try to make a masterpiece for me and God.  My kids can even get into it!

This is rare new and scary  – if one person gives – God is working out their to make the world a better place ad we know he is!

Blessings ~Jenn

Lost in Space

I remember the show – don’t you.  That feeling of being in a far removed place with creatures and people/monsters who you have no recollection of.  Walking around nervous and jumpy to the resolved captain who will never give up hope. I like to think the characters laughed and joked several times as they produced the show, for I am happy the did.  I personally am in a sphere of space without direction. Things that are supposed to get better get worse.  When you think the bottom has dropped out, you realize you have no idea what the bottom is. Tomorrow I have to be in several places as once.  I am being tested as to resolve, am I going to wither with the new setback we have been presented with. Ugh. I know “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13” I am just need some extra strength today.  I have phone calls that need to go right, miracles to happen with my family.  I know He can and He will, if it is His will, so this morning I am sitting in silence (relative silence) with the young ones home, to devote my time to Him and at His feet I will leave them – I pray I have the strength not to try to pick them back up again.

I Pray your day is amazing – also that Christ show himself in al you do and see

~Blessings ~Jenn

 

Needing Gods intervention in all times…

I repeat over and over about this passage – Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I need to keep God close, almost closer because I feel without Him I would be lost for this walk has been very bumpy. Every door that has opened, has been slammed in my face. I am so confused about what happens when all the yes’ become confused and then not right.  My life usually has its ups and downs sadly this last few years but the fact that I am limited in a way that stops the happy, the Joy the fun with my kids – This sucks!  I am yes on a box and Pray that God helps me figure this out – right now if Monday does not bring me some answers I think I will just die inside, give up.  To many doctors, to many MRI’s, to many poking, prodding, the worst appointment with a urologist I have had in my entire life.   When I get on my box it is usually a small annoyance from a brand or a manufacture.  I am here weary, lost and frightened.  I feel that nobody can ever feel what I am feeling, that I am stuck, in this bundle of chaos.

My Husband and children are the most amazing gifts in my life and give me that reason to keep moving forward regardless of the answers we get or not.  Please God help me find a way to get rid of the financial burden of the medical bills, stop running into walls and people who don’t know about the object that has grown gotten larger and is affecting me like a cancer eating away at the straight path God wants me on.  No I am not praying enough and when I do, Spiritual warfare comes running. When a husband provides for a family if his home life is stress due to pain how can that encourage and uplift?

I am ready to Rejoice. Yet I feel – Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life. Revelations 2:10  Don’t Give Up

Sleep well – Off my box