My Thread of Hope

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When I think about the last few months I am drawn to reflect on God‘s unwavering grace.  I have had moments of complete Joy, I have seen the way the crest of a wave  disperses on a shell filled beach, instantly changes the heart of a child from excitement to awe, unbridled wonder.  I have shared tears within my own private four walls, over the loss in a season of my life.  Knowing that regardless of the future that this season will never come again, never the same.  The next, something anew fortified, stronger, weaker… different.

Seasons of life they teach us not only the lows that we can feel, also the strength we  gain through trusting in God.  Reach inside pull out the courage, love and grace that you never knew was there.  This season has brought me through another ten amazing christian novels.  My love for the written word has grown over and over as I read new pages new authors.  I find new places in my heart that needed to grow and the words I read became the seeds.

It’s just a Season people say; you will get through it.  Trust in God with all your Heart and He will lead your path straight.  I believe this sitting here on my couch typing this blog, yet when I think about going to the kitchen to refill my coffee, or to head to the office to grab a book, I feel stranded, alone, forgotten….  It is humbling to go from running in the water with your children, to wishing you had spent the last five years buffing up your upper body strength.  Just so you could lift your inoperative body into a wheelchair, or on to a medical bed.  I cherish the nights with my spouse, walking down the hall and kissing my children goodnight or singing the song they Love to Hate to wake them in the morning.  Yet I have stumbled again, no rhyme or reason.  This time both of my legs have decided to leave on hiatus.  Upstairs is a current memory, one I want to make a reality again, now.  Yet in the midst of this stumbling, I choose to Follow, in the midst of this I choose to surrender again.  ~ Take My Life and Let It Be, All for You and for Your Glory, Take My Life and Let it Be Yours”  – (Chris TomlinThis song plays in my head like the constant rhythm of the waves urging me to never forget even if my footsteps are nothing but faint memories in the present, God in His mighty Love, in His endless calling for us to follow, is the strength within me!  I am a grain of sand in His hands of mercy.  He is not testing me to pull me farther from Him, He does not create the pain the suffering or the endless questions and longing for a reason Why??? Now Please hear me, for if I am anything I am only that because of He who has made me!  My God is standing in the Gap between my lack of strength and my earnest urge to survive, persevere and be a shinning light for someone walking in a world where darkness seems to have taken hold.

Today is a gift.  I cherish the smells, sounds and laughter I am enjoying.  The other night My Husband our youngest daughter and I had a small family movie night.  We watched The Life of Pi Wow, what a movie, book – This story of Life, Loss and the gift of believing in God who will never forget you even if you don’t understand how He could have placed you in the situation you are in. Movies that share this are a blessing in today’s society.  God shows over and over how He never abandons us and when we continue to surrender not long for ourselves to be in complete control.  God provides in His timing always in His unique marvelous ways!   – A small side note: Although the movie was rated PG be sure your child is ready for some graphic animal violence scenes before renting the 3D version. (i.e.) I give the movie **** 1/2 stars only because they had two small errors in filming (yes I catch that small stuff).  Spending time together watching a movie or eating dinner, these moments are a treasure I will hold with both hands and a full overflowing heart.

Today keeps tearing at the fabric I have knitted around my heart.  I have learned over time that trials regardless of the reasons they will help us grow are faith and bring us closer to the creator, we only have to be open to His gift.  I being human, being an emotional variety of the female gender, find that trials can make you stronger or leave you weaker.  So many times in my life I’ve been told “In this Business, In this situation, In light of these circumstances, Now that you have survived, overcome, achieved, been awarded, invited too, in today’s times : YOU NEED TO GROW A THICK SKIN”  I just want to clarify, this blog is my way of sharing a set of unforseen circumstances in my life.  Those circumstances have given me the nudges I have needed to grow and learn a multitude of things I had not known before.  I see God in the wind now, I see God in the flowers outside my window, that I planted there five years ago.  I have enjoyed watching it grow.  Today I am not able to go outside touch it, take photos of the bees burrowing inside the buds, drenching their bodies with a fine perfect layer of pollen to carry back to the hive and dropping some on many needed plants along the way.  I am able to see them through the window, I praise God for that.  I will not “Grow a Thick Skin” not any thicker that it is today.  I believe wholeheartedly that God created me this way as a perfect representation of one unique part of Him.  For we in the Glory of our imperfect selves are made in His image, by His hand.  I believe He sees our/my image as a perfect reflection, not something that needs hardening by the trials we are given, but rather to watch us bloom and carry our own pollen/knowledge to the next trial in our life, only to drop pollen, drop love, friendship, wisdom, and experiences to those around us along the way.  So I use this blog to share books that I love, items I have come across that I have found indispensable and believe that you would find indispensable as well.  I also will share some of my trials and my experiences with you.  In that, perhaps you may experience encouragement, knowledge, wonder and a growth of your own Faith.

This is my place of refuge, a place to share little pieces of life that I am unable to express any other way.  Perhaps this will shed some light – I woke this morning to my hands being so swollen that they matched my legs and feet, swollen bubbles with knobs on the end for digits.  My arms are unable to operate the wheelchair well.  I found the desire to cry almost unbearable.  It is not so much my body giving me a war I am still learning to fight, it is that my children had to see mom struggle to pack their lunch and send them off to school.  Rather than lose myself in the fear of this situation, I chose to go to the window open it wide and watch the birds gather worms, the wind rustle up the underside of the growing magnolia.  I could smell the rosemary on the breeze and when I leaned forward-looking hard I could barely see that our blueberry bushes are starting to bloom.  I watched God this morning!  Instead of surrendering to the tears over fear,  I instead surrendered myself to God’s earthly wonderland, watching it work piece by piece in perfect unison.  I’m blessed to be part of that plan, God’s plan in all it’s wonder.  The trial I am currently struggling with will teach me something I was unaware of before.  I believe I will see God’s face even clearer for the journey.  I will see a rainbow and cry my tears that God loves us, will never leave us; NEVER.  He has given me strength to share my struggles with you.  From the nudges He has sent my way recently, I have found the courage to share with you.  May my journey give you strength in your life whatever you may be walking through with God now.

Blessings, Jenn

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Quest for the Nail Prints – Don Furr – My personal Review

Amen - Amen
Amen – Amen

Quest for the Nail Prints by Don Furr is a journey of three unrelated people to the time of Christ for reasons they do not know.  Elisabeth is a Flight MED Doctor and was heading to Israel to set up a clinic there for trauma patients. She is a believer.  Paul is a pastor who is going on a Honeymoon gift from his mother and sick stepfather, without his wife because she is fearful of the area and time – it has always been his dream and she wants him to live it.  The third traveler is a Professor of Religious studies, who by all accounts is without any religion whatsoever.  The three end up on multiple planes together find a sort of bond or rather a mutual destination. Elisabeth has three free days and decides to go sight-seeing with Paul, the professors flight gets cancelled and he ends up with them – then one two-three round a corner three strange events running and suddenly Paul is seeing Jesus enter the Holy City on Palm City!  The story wraps around and around drawing you in and weaving you into the tapestry – one moment in the garden of the night before the crucifixion it’s said in the bible  a man ran out of his cloths – when really in the dark and struggle the soldiers had torn Elisabeth’s outer garments off her.  They were part of the bible we know now, then always.  Even the black man who carried the cross was important and a soldier he also seemed from the future playing out a part in the last days of Christ.

This book touches the heart and soul of every christian, jew, and non believer alike.  I can see a non believer accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior on their knees as they finish this book, and not because of time travel, rather how important the events that took place 2000 years ago.  How we simply let them fall to the wayside as ashes from a forgotten fire.  I know that the story of Mary and Martha was one of the most important stories in my life.  I found solace in the giving of the alabaster oil on Jesus feet before dinner instead of waiting to use it on His body at the time of His death. I had fallen away forgotten the moment the breath the meaning the feelings around the table the way Jesus had to teach His Disciples the grand gift that He had just been given.  This book takes the moments and breathes life into them and lays them out for the reader to not only read but to feel and taste, to experience.  Where were you when Christ was Crucified?  I was weeping.

This book very well should be the book that changes the lives of this current generation.  It is not a hoax, not a bunch of smoke and mirrors.  Rather it is Life, History-Our History, our freedom from Sin, our Bridge to the Father, the new covenant told in a way that just may make you ask another question about His return.

Please I welcome all your feedback, comments and questions.

Blessings,

Jenn 

Tapestry of God Web for our lives

As I was reading a book last night a quote stated ” Three lone thread in a tapestry without a clue about the magnificent pattern God was weaving.” Quest for the Nail Prints a Novel – Don Furr pg 128

It just blew me away. First I believe that we are not the only lone souls, weaved into a magnificent tapestry by God.  I believe in my soul my heartbeat, in my love of life my love of faith my yearning for knowledge of God.I believe that each person that is set upon this on this earth christian or a life yet to find Christ will be weaved through and throughout His mighty tapestry. Weaved in, in a way that leads only to inevitable glory of His mighty Kingdom.  Perhaps I am still fresh in my faith and am star struck by the Love and Grace. He so freely gave, to me, to all. Especially on the cross. The thief at His side who said ” I will never see the promised land for I have sinned too much – and Jesus of Nazareth, spoke in words only a messiah on a cross dying a horrible death could say said, son for you have seen your ways were wrong and repented, tonight you will be with me in the promised land.”   Wow A small word on a death-bed and all is forgiven –

That Moment when He said you will be with me and the Father in Heaven tonight. – I believe He was not only being true, so honest it was above miraculous. Though people must understand Christ is a sounding board for forgiveness in your hour of need. Though, He is not an answer to the, I will sin all my life and use this  “Forgive Christ” as a scape goat, as a pass, as a way from the fires of Hell, into eternal peace at deaths last moment.  Repenting is a part of the spirit and comes for deep within. the thief had that repentance.  I do not believe many that choose the easy option will or do.

I say that for I have to repent each day and I am yet a mother with three amazing children and a husband who is more kind to may than the Robin is to her hatchlings in early spring.  It takes time effort and real honest, true belief and surrender to learn honest repentance.

The thought that we are part of a tapestry of Gods/Christs tapestry for the magnificent pattern He is creating makes me feel even more resolute in the forward motion of my dreams my surrender, my following my hearts leading. For in my heart I believe the Holy Spirit not only dwells buts speaks.

tomorrow I shall speak to the tapestry I think He is creating in me tonight I leave you with a question… What do you thing He is creating in you?

For we are all the vine and without each other we are …..

 

Blessings,

Jenn

 

A new book – I am starting my Quest

I received a book “Quest for the Nail Prints” by Don Furr. According to is cover;
Three ordinary people are chosen by God for an extraordinary experience, one so incredible that even they have a hard time believing it is real. Through unrelated circumstances, the three travelers find themselves sharing a journey to the Holy Land when suddenly there are thrust back in time nearly two thousand years, coming face-to-face with the rugged radical Nazarene known throughout the land as Jesus of Nazareth.

This is the story of how a personal encounter with the living Christ and his time creates the journey of a lifetime!

I have been personally changed by the way Don writes in an honest real human voice. I cannot put it down! There is a hole through the middle of the book, it has a great explanation one that you should experience yourself. Find your heart with Christ feel the sins being washed clean as the blood is spilled I for one am struck in the deepest part of my soul, this book is a testament to Faith , Hope and Love.
I hope to talk with Don and share more soon until then go get yourself s copy.
Quest for the Nail Prints

Also The Book Network The Book Network has a great group on the Quest as well as the Nails. They have amazing conversation. Don’t miss out!

Blessings to each of you – glad to be back writing again. Please check out this book and let me know what you think! Jenn

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PRacticing the Presence of Jesus – Wally Armstrong – Review of a great book

Wally takes on a journey from the guy who committed to Christ but did not have a friendship a relationship.  Wally takes us through this book as people from every walk of life a every set of circumstances.  Everyone meets Jesus in their own way.  Those who believe in God, yet don’t seek his relationship are lost and still searching or have not meet Wally yet. Wally lets every reader know that God is a Friend that is their to answer the phone at 3am to hold your hand as you are on your knees weeping.  He is also a god who shops with you while your picking out milk.  There is one God, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit.  That being known we are all made in His image and not one of us look exactly the same.  That is the tone of the book and a wonderful preview for how we should all seek out the word of the father.  Jesus might come to me over a cup of coffee, yet come to you on a Lear jet flying cross-country for an investment meeting.  It is not the who or the what, it is the meeting you where you are.  When we realize that Christ will meet us where we are then we can take that step and lean into Him for guidance, love all things you. When you realize He is with you in the kitchen, conference room, golf course or even church, you can then start the conversation: Hi Jesus, it’s me, I just wanted to talk about my heart feeling about taking this job.  We will all be met in the place intended for God is not a one size fits all – how could he be with the beauty he created in us.

Book Description: Wally Armstrong takes the concept of Jesus being so real you could sit on a couch with Him and have a meaningful fully vested conversation with him.  Society today does not allow for people to realize God is just a Friend, waiting for you to reach out, start the conversation.  In “Practicing the presence of Jesus” Wally gives each of us a way an approach to creating the same amazing unique experience he has had, and the easy way to forage a relationship so real that you not only feel but you know He is sitting on the couch next to you.

I would and have recommended this book to many who still see God as a person we honor only.  It is amazing to see the eyes of those who have that first taste f friendship.

Link to purchase the book on Amazonhttp://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Presence-Jesus-Wally-Armstrong/dp/1609367022/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351601299&sr=8-1&keywords=wally+armstrong

 Disclosure: I was given a complimentary copy of this book by Litfuse Publicity Group as a part of their blog tour in exchange for a review with true fact and statements . @litfuse 

 

Book Review Preview: Wally Armstrong – Practicing the Presence of Jesus – Expereriencne the Gift of His Friendship

I being asked to do a review on this book: practicing the presence. of Jesus. Experience the gift of His Friendship From the forward by Ken Blanchard on, something inside stirred. I found this not  a personal improvement book nor a Strong hold I will make you a believer novelette. Rather in fine form this is a well pictured piece of the vine placed on paper so those untouched by the branches will feel the power one chapter can give and as I  dive in. I find personal Experiences funny. They question you placement in a spatial relationship to an experience, they ask without words if you are knowledgeable enough to speak to that experience, finally even probe the sentiment does anyone cares about your opinion when it relates to an experience. Harsh but ever so true.

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Here is a a small taste~a quote before the contents to give you a taste of the

translucent yet vibrant review to come:

Thanks be to Thee, my Lord Jesus Christ,

for all the benefits Thou hast given me,

for all the pains and insults

which Thou hast borne for me.

O Most merciful Redeemer, Friend and Brother,

may I know Thee more clearly,

love Thee more dearly,

follow Thee more nearly,

day by day.

Amen.

-ST. RICHARD OF CHICHESTER

I hope you are as excited as I am for the upcoming review. This book has given me wise on-site, strong reproach to daily failures and triumphs. I will take great pleasure in reviewing this beautiful book.

Blessings ~Jenn

Time to get back to the basics – I was looking for God

 

When we returned from New York,  we had so much painful stress having to decide about what the results meant, to us our family.  I had to decide do I move forward or just curl up in the space between knowledge and knowledge and stay there. I like to hide their sometimes. I am getting closer to that spot as I travel down this path, if we can call traveling down this path one of healing.  I am struggling yet surviving each day.  I get up, that is a accomplishment! We my family and I are on the constant effort of searching for my prime, my fullness. Thank you!

I loved being witty. It is something that could be used to express what I am and who I am. Or it used to be. That euphemism has dwindled as, progressions of the neurological question mark  in my life has developed, more aptly grown!  I am seeking further treatment for the progression and the source.  Such as applying to a neurological study at John Hopkins.  We are on the new path as I am not a surgical candidate. I do not have Chiari and my Syringomyelia is not of a surgical nature.

The Dr. in New York after releasing the “NOT FIXABLE HERE”,   he used the terms transverse myelitis ( is a neurological disorder caused by aninflammatory process of the grey and white matter of the spinal cord, and can cause axonal demyelination.) he also used the terms:  a variant of (Variant meaning type?) Multiple Sclerosis (multiple sclerosis  (MS), chronic, slowly progressive autoimmune disease in which the body’s immune system attacks the protective myelin sheaths that surround the nerve cells of the brain and spinal cord (a process called demyelination), resulting in damaged areas that are unable to transmit nerve impulses.The disease also gradually damages the nerves themselves.There are elevated numbers of lymphocytes in the cerebral spinal fluid and of T cells in the blood (see immunity).

The onset of MS is usually at age 20 to 40 years, and its many symptoms affect almost every system of the body. There may be visual difficulties, emotional disturbances, speech disorders,convulsions, paralysis or numbness of various regions of the body, bladder disturbances, and muscular weakness. The course of the disease varies greatly from person to person. In some patients, the symptoms remit and return, sometimes at frequent intervals and sometimes after several years. In others the disease progresses steadily.)

Neither of which make me want to back cookies, do they make you so inclined? I am still non curable and undeclared as of what it is that has all these symptoms and walks like a duck, I being the duck.

So for the time being  I decided the best avenue before becoming so depressed I stopped liking chocolate. It is to find God around me! YEAH!, to that notion, I have found already – He has followed me very closely the last couple days:Look at the photos and the things that just should not be their. If you have an idea…  please share!! Enjoy, I have:) In Hard times she had learned three things:

  1. She was stronger than she ever imagined
  2. Jesus was closer than she ever realized
  3. And she was loved more than she ever knew!

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So I find that when God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit places things for you to fathom, think about and question  – is that really you.  In those moments we are having an intimate conversation with our maker.

So when Peter saw it, he responded to the people: Men of Israel, why do you marvel at this? Or why look so intently at us,as though by our own power or godliness we hade made this man walk?  Acts: 3:12 NKLV

Tell hin this is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Here is the man whose name is the Branch, and he will branch out from this place and build the temple of the LORD. Zechariah 6:12

The Branch is one of the most amazing ideas in the bible – I am a branch and can reach as many people as I reach for!!

In the search for God and realizing he is with you while you put on your socks,  he is nudging me hard, I stop.

I have not been listening.

I have sinned  – and will again, for I am human and blind to the glory offered.

I am working on the nudges – I have a feeling this is a start.  “To those who know the stupid people in Sponge Bob Square Pants” – Thank you for Nudging to get off the floor! – Thank you!

I found one more scripture that feels like me please enjoy – This is excerpts from Psalm 31 –  I put myself in your hands knowing you will save me, Lord of Truth….. I dance for joy at your constant love.  You saw me suffer, you know my pain.  You let no enemy cage me, but set my feet on open ground.  Pity me Lord, I hurt all over; my eyes are swollen. My heart and body ache. Grief consumes my life, sighs fill my days; guilt saps my strength…… I said to quickly, “God has cut me off!” But you heard my cry when I prayed for help. Love the Lord, all faithful people, the Lord your guardian, who fully repays the proud. Be Strong, Be Brave, all who wait for God.   (Wow – we are Blessed beyond measure)  In the Contemporary English Version The Holy Bible PSALM 31

So I, will continue to try to be strong, brace myself wait for God.  He knows my pain, my desire to not get up. This is like admitting your worst sin – I have no wish to get up, yet I try every day, lest the lord forsake me. Rather I give up on my family.  I have lost days lately – But out of Love comes finding, understanding.  I try!

Many Blessings to be with each of you may you learn the love of passing grace on. It passed us eight times during our trip too & from – God and His wonderful creations are amazing, be amazing!

Jenn

English: Tracts of the spinal cord.
English: Tracts of the spinal cord. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)