EMOTION

I do not like the ability of family far away or just 30 miles to have control over all of your emotions.  Maybe that should not be true, but I live out of a Target bag and a half drank Diet coke right now. I cannot sleep because I am not a home, yet the one person who made it a home besides the eldest makes me feel more messed up as to home every time I talk, yet lets me know how far I have to go for it to really manifest itself in a positive way.  

REALITY – Please Help

When I go to New York Monday,10/1 7 days I pray the DR. and NP say I am a surgical candidate. if soI’m going bald for locks of Love.  I may not afford the trip and all the hospital and extranious items but , I can give twelve inches of my hair.  If you want to help you can donate.  I am sad right now as you can see to many emotions and not enough God.  So I am going to excuse myself and go find him. All Grammar is due to typing with one hand is hard. my fingers have no feeling — Thoracic Outlet – it hurts to sit because of the SI Joint dysfunction. My L1-S1 discs are bulged torn and have annular tears, they hurt. I have a piece if liquid in my spine that should not be their. the Syringnomyelia runs from C1-S1 and messes with all my nerves. I cannot feel my right leg. Actually i cannot feel anything from my 2nd rib to my middle thigh on both sides but I lay low.  Funny not feeling your belly button.  I’m messed up – I have a pain pump in my abdomen that drip medicine in my spine I still have to take meds. Everything hurts, I cannot sleep.  I am always Tired I fall all the time.  I get right sided headache’s that come on with a couch, or for no reason that hurt like I knife through my brain. I cannot raise my arms above my shoulders and if your touch my right armI might hurt you it hurts so much.  I am sorry – I don’t like pity – One day at a time and today all I want to do is sleep. But I have something each day until I leave so. Oh well the thought was good.

I want an electric blanket, and fun scrapbook stuff to tell my SM/CM /SD story DR. B I believe in you.  I also believe in my friends – I will raise what I need and I will make it without fear.  Amen

Blessings~Jenn