Times I Seek God –

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I went into my marriage of my best friend with the end in sight – we both agree a place in the hills with two rocking chairs facing west so that we may watch the sunset each day, together.  Recently well, October 31st to be exact our lives changes – it is one of the most amazing and frustrating place to be in now that is March! – oct, nov, dec, jan, feb, mar = 6 months of a wonderful active life, flushed down a porcelain receptacle.

Now Life is a series of movements each exact, in time as we as a family seem to flow through this adventure (we call it that instead of Horror because the children might not understand). My little girl likes to push me around in the wheelchair, it makes her feel good.  She is also on mommy water duty making sure mom always has a full cup of water.  Love it. My baby, well he is five still likes to kiss mommy’s knee or leg that has no feeling or pray about it getting better.  On a side note watching my children pray for things that are beyond our four walls, like people in Afghanistan or people in the thunderstorm or say please put angels around mom and have dad drive home safe is worth a blog of its own the way that makes me feel.  The Lord Is Gracious and good, and to only wish to have the faith as a child. My eldest daughter understands but I think a wiser thought is that she wishes she could make it go way so mom can go back to being mom.

I was looking up the different reason marriages ended and I found this on http://www.divorce.com 

1. Financial Problems

For the most part, it is the lack of open communication about money problems that jeopardizes a marriage more than the financial problems alone. Everyone has financial issues concerning bills, debts, spending and budgets. How a couple deals with those issues can make or break a relationship.

2. Communications Problems
If a couple has communication problems prior to marriage, those problems are likely to get worse after tying the knot. It is important that both partners are able to discuss every aspect of married life openly and on a regular basis. A marriage without two-way communication will not last long.

3. Family Problems
Family relationships with children, parents, in-laws, siblings and step-children are all sources of marital problems. Raising children increases stress in the home and can cause minor differences of opinion to become major rifts in a relationship. Discretion is the better part of valor when it comes to family and marriage.

I just have a hard time understanding how Financial Problems can make the bind so sacred just crumble. we have never been where we are, yet we know there is a way, and God provides.  Last night I asked my amazing husband if God would just provide manna for me everyday and that is all that I would eat. He asked why and I said, being basically bedridden except for short stints in the wheelchair have let me gain the weight it took years for me to take off. God loves the us that is inside, so why does my free will have me so self-destructive.  We have never let the D word enter our conversations regardless of the situation , and for that I am Blessed, and also saddened by the many that let money replace commitment and love.

Then Communication Problems  Thant we never suffer from, I am a tell all kinda girl and he is an honest tell it like it is kinda guy and we fit together like Lincoln Logs. I cry, scream sometimes write, write write all my feelings, then i start feeling a wave of unprecedented emotion, love, warpath that wrap around you and lets you know the communication is good clear and god filled.  We do think inviting God into everything we do is better than a message – we struggle there I don’t like to admit it but these past six moths are the ones we will never forget.

Then there is Family Problems; I really think this is the one that people just give in, God commanded us to cut the umbilical cord from our mothers and father when we went into marriage, that we become in the unity of marriage one – both mentally and Physically.  We then become the mothers and Fathers!  Though this has been the hard.

I have woke to a note, were the husband and family are at the park flying kites, or were out running errands. Or I am going to run with little man to the store.  To take me along is a large whole process , I have to gather my items, medicine, water, pole for wheelchair, wheelchair legs, mat.  then someone has to know how to get me down the threshold leaving house. then help me into a car, each of which is different remember my arm are in serious pain but I have to use them anyway then the left knee to push up on which daily gets harder due to the pain.  Okay I am in we made it!  now lets repeat the process everywhere we go!!  Yeah.  Sometimes I don’t get the time with my kids because of the shear pain. It is a daily process that God Willing has made us a great statistic of 1% We are the family that is staying together through Financial Problems, Communication Stresses, and Family Dysfunction – Do you know the feeling of living in a single hospital bed directly below the man your madly in love with?  The tornado’s hit our area a couple of days ago, and all I asked husband to grab from upstairs is my wedding ring. We huddled in the area under the stars with an Android Tablet and a Mac Book Pro waiting for the storm to pass. All I wanted was my family safe and my marriage secure.

This weekend a friend of family is having a fundraiser, a day of tennis or straight donations – that was a humbling experience to say yes, your right this could help our family, yes I am not getting better I am scheduled for a surgery on 3/8/12 finances are going to be harder and harder. not to mention our youngest daughter has been diagnosed with a problem that warrants a MRI – she has to be sedated for that, That scares me more than life itself.  Everything in our life right now is going out.  In this house I have to say we might be sinking but the wake of the mighty lord will bring this ship to the shore and protect us from the pain and suffering for he is a mighty God and we will praise him!! (If you have any questions please e-mail me jdovefamily@gmail.com)

O LORD my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me. Psalm 30:2 NKJV

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