Today is day 12 of my Hospital stay. I am working towards an ultimate goal of walking 150 feet with whatever device they deem appropriate. I never realised how long 150 feet is until they show you, and your leg screams “No Way”.
It is humbling to have the need for help with everyday life. I took this for granted. When I took care of Granny, either when she came to stay for a week, or in her final days at the rehabilitation center, the care that was needed. She needed help in those days and now I find myself needing this kind hep as well. From going to the bathroom, help with shower, putting on cloths and help with shoes even. I am at the mercy of those who are underpaid and under recognized. God knows the valley I walk in. He knows I am strong-minded, full of spirit and scared beyond measure. How do I accept the set of circumstances I have found myself in, without loss of self?
I have been keeping the bible open and in my heart. I am writing the promises God made that speak to me. I am right-handed and I am making this happen with my left hand. the first page of scripture on a 5×7 page took 1.5 hours to write. I have improved not only the time but the neatness. It is exciting knowing I am using my left hand to write. For God gave me gifts, and one is to write my thoughts, my conundrums, my puzzles in my mind that need solving.
I wear my heart on my sleeve – God responds with, I shall fill your morning and your evening, your physical, occupational and recreational therapy; your nurse technicians, your case manager and finally your social worker with Children of God. I am surrounded from the moment I rise, until the moment I set my body to sleep with those who remind me of the gifts of Christ as well as my part in His story. I am ever making my testimony.
So here’s to the Ray of light in my valley of circumstances, for the path to Christ is filled with His flock working for Him to keep others nourished. I feel blessed to experience this leading to the path. For knowing we are not at a solution with my situation, rather we are in a holding pattern; like the pattern of airplanes awaiting clearance. I pray we find the doctor, the clinic, the center that is willing and knowledgeable to take on my Syrinx and give me Hope for a day without the fear of falling, or loosing my arms and legs to numbness and partial paralysis. For my right side haunted me now, though I pray without ceasing for feeling and full usage again. Only hiccup is the item that is causing my chronic pain is still there sleeping amongst my spinal cord, awaiting the next growth spurt or chance to wreak havoc on my nervous system.
Regardless, I am blessed by the people placed in my life, the family and friends that have stood with me to a place of strength. I will find a way through Christ to overcome!!