What it would be like if we could walk the streets today with Christ our Lord? I do, and right now I believe that ir is sustaining me. For when I walk with Jesus I am able to tumble and not hot ground run and never tire, jump and feel like I am drifting in the clouds. My crisis of faith is such a tenuous item based on the feeling the morning, or the middle of the night brings. I am a child of God with faith that needs love tenderness, and affirmation. This walk is one of light of Hope and hallways of darkness. Ellisa said I have a sad voice and she hears it to often, that depression might actually be encompassing me. This gets me thin
king, if Ellisa can see the power of the darkness putting its claws in me, then how much more powerful is the spiritual warfare that I am facing. It is I that have to battle the daily demons concerning my lack of a healthy body. When the body betrays one the mind is soon to follow. I am not in church, reason being the drive is to hard – but tell me does Christ not move mountains to bring His glory presence and worship to those that are thirsty? That is what I need to grab onto – the simple fact: Be Still and Know that I am God. Be Still: the instance where you/I clear my mind to the place where pain has no opening, worry has been chained in the basement, and need for approval is locked behind the love for others. In that moment of Stillness I am listening for the purpose in this Season that Christ has placed me in. This is a Season! That is so important to me, important for me to remember
Season – a : a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature <in a season of religious awakening — F. A. Christie>b : a suitable or natural time or occasion <when my season comes to sit on David’s throne — John Milton>c : an indefinite period of time : while <sent home again to her father for a season — Francis Hackett>
Hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation
So in this Season I am going to walk aware of the spiritual warfare that will bombard me, and I will learn to place my armor on one piece of a time. I am learning that Faith is my stability, I can rebuke Satan with the blessed name of Jesus. I may wake suffering and be misunderstood by many. Regardless I am going to make it happen I am going to fight, I am going to be still, listen and let God have control of all of my life. That means the part of my life that hurts, the part where I have fallen and am more embarrassed than hurt. I give God the moments in the park that were taken from me, the parts of my life that I will never remember. While I am surrendering and basking in the knowledge that everything regardless of pain or inability to make an instant change, I will choose to believe that all is for His Glory. Who am I to believe that this Season that I am in is not in a grand way making a path of Glory for Christ.
So today I surrender it all, may each tear that is flowing now be gathered and held in Christs hands – for he knows I need his whispers, I am listening.