Diving into the Meaning of Love

Everyone’s life is a journey. Each moment a catalyst for another and consequently formed by a previous catalyst. I Love that!  The Bible, the tool in which my love is founded speaks volumes as to how a marriage should be.  It shows us what love is.  It speaks to love for friends, enemies, neighbors and strangers.  It tells me how to hold on to the love I have, how to embrace it. One of the verses that shares that with me is: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (NIV).

My journey towards love began in the year 2000. I dropped everything I knew in Montana. I sold what I could, severed friendships that didn’t understand my magnetic pull that drew me to where I am today, and I flew with my daughter following a faint small whisper to Georgia.  Georgia the state I thought was full of people who hated other people, didn’t wave at each other when the crossed the street never knew your name. I am one to say when I am wrong, and in this instance, forgive me Georgia you are full of beautiful people!

I believe God had a plan for me here.  I came with nothing and within two weeks through my sister’s help I found a job I excelled at a banking position.  This is where I learned everyone’s name and they new mine. The customers became family and those several months I wouldn’t trade for anything, for those relationships taught me more about who I wanted to be where I was headed and that I was not just a nameless face in a large crowd. It was there I learned I needed to find God again. I needed to be strong for my daughter. I needed to be complete for myself.  9/11 changed everything or at least it made me change from never noticing men to noticing my future husband as a handsome man not just as a person I worked with.  Through Gods amazing grace path and whispers BJ and I have been married for almost nine years.  We added two children to our existing family of three and we pushed forward in life as believers in Christ, Family and most importantly each other.

Our road has been one of trials, though.  I firmly believe that the scripture I read in a book based on Philippians 1:21  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (NIV) is what has made our path not only a struggle but one that has gained more that we could ever hope for!  A song says “For Every Blessing You Pour Out Lord, We Turn Back In Praise” that simple challenge if you will, that push to keep you going push to make you get up and be a mother or father, work hard, push through the struggle and be excited to see what you learn on the other side.  We did that together, as one united.  We have been climbing that rock wall, we have lost our grip multiple times and we have continued to steady ourselves.  My Mother in Law has been given a special gift. Through her amazing wisdom I have found out how to be a stronger person.  That same woman is the mother of my Husband, my best friend, and my other half.  We firmly believe God carved us from the same cloth.  He intended each struggle we had previously and those in the future for our ultimate union and reciprocation of glory to Him.

The last several months have been the type of months that make you wonder how much strength you have in you.  Almost to the point where you look at what giving in would look like and make yourself tear it up and throw it very far away.  I learned today that I am going to have to hurt more before the storm ends, and that in itself is scary.  I want you to know, those of you that may happen upon this blog and decide to take a gander at it, that I believe the true meaning of love is not the gifts one is given, the time alone on date night, the encouragement during labor or any other normal romantic vessel that makes so many of us feel secure and loved.  We are secure and loved, but there is so much more.  True love holds your hair when your ill, true love yells at you until you call the doctor, then stands hand in hand with you when you get nowhere over and over again.  Love is Patient, kind, ALWAYS HOPES – that is the one I am in right now the place where I lean on the love of my husband and Gods Hope for me so that I can stand.  BJ is a firm believer that I am everything he has ever wanted or needed, and I in return believe that and so much more of him.  Tears that flow when the emotion is raw, when you struggle to understand the set of circumstances that life has placed you in, yet you hold tight to God’s promises and each other and pray that this is the lowest the valley will go.

If you were to see BJ and I together you would see the unison in our steps, the joy in our fears, the playfulness of life we both enjoy and long to enjoy.  You would also see my disbelief in his hope for me, and his anger at me for fearing communication.  Those items can tear families apart, let them part in a place where neither has to focus on anything other than themselves.  We again are born of the same cloth and grow closer in these arguments, frustrations, tears.  I have found out that my body is broken, and in that brokenness I have had a few side-effects that have been around but strangely no-one ever mentioned them to me because they figured, 1) I already knew 2) it was a result of me doing something stupid or 3) they didn’t care enough to bother to say anything to BJ or myself.  So now me and the love of my life are taking on the things that are not normal, not a result of my stupidity and not something I know how to change.  The plan is simple, BJ loves me stronger, lets me lean longer harder and more focused on him/Him so that I may learn to speak in a language that my doctor understands, and thusly result in a light at the end of the tunnel of this specific valley we are traveling in. – That my friend is true love, honest, unconditional, romantic, sympathetic, strong and glorious!

BJ and I love the beach, we spent our Honeymoon their, we visit his grandparents in North Myrtle every June if life allows, and this year we had the pleasure of spending a weekend celebrating another set of his grandparents 60th wedding anniversary at Seaside Florida.

Sidebar – They are an amazing couple, a couple to look at as role models for life marriage and wise counsel.

Love~ I am so Blessed that it has found me, embraced me, enveloped me within its perfect Joy.  I want nothing from BJ that he has not already given me.  My Love has given me security, a place of serenity an amazing family.  A Joyful Heart Mutual Honesty and God – Through Him we shall see the shores of the ocean for several more seasons.

Tomorrow I will share with you the obstacle that in-itself has shown me what a miracle Love is, and how blessed I am to have it.

Today ~ This is for My Love My Life My Soul Mate ~ Billy I Love You 


One thought on “Diving into the Meaning of Love

  1. Okay, That made me well up, let me gather myself as I at work. Jenn, thank you for believing in me to help us through these series of challenges. I promise to hold you up. You are truly the love of my life. Keep writing and believing in you. Love, BJ

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